"IS THIS A KISSING BOOK?"

Dear Reader,

2011 is upon us. Some things have changed- DADT was repealed, thanks to Lady Gaga. Some things haven’t changed- Susan Boyle still succeeds in making every song sound like a funeral. And, some things will just never change- Magic will never go out of style.

I’m sitting on my red couch with my Neti Pot (shout-out to Kyle Riabko), Oregano Oil, Advil, Saline Spray and Ricola Pastilles in close proximity to help my fever-ridden body type this blog. Needless to say, I feel like crepe. Preferably one filled with Nutella and strawberries. I’m just sitting here, waiting for my body to make a decision: Hot or Cold? (Thanks, Katy P.)

Magic happens everywhere in our lives, and what made me realize it was watching the movies Labyrinth, by Jim Henson, puppet master extraordinaire, and that cracked fairy-tale classic The Princess Bride for the first time. (And yes, I’ve been told multiple times that it’s weird that I’ve never seen Princess Bride, but, hey! I’m French!)

Sweet reader, there have been some strange, magical happenings in the universe lately… One morning, late last year, I woke up and made myself some breakfast, as per the usual. To my biggest surprise, I looked down into the pan and saw that I had fried the egg into a heart shape, purely accidentally. Then, I remembered my new neighbour was moving in that day. The egg was definitely a sign. What if my former neighbours were wrong? What if that single, older lady was not the one moving in but was actually surprising her tall-handsome-badass-well-spoken-and-preferably-blonde-and-muscular-like-Sam-from-Glee-SON with the new place?... When I stepped out to meet my girls for a drink that night, I ran into my new neighbour… And she is, in fact, and unfortunately, a single, older lady. A friendly hello and a handshake were exchanged. But, as I turned away from her and headed toward the elevator, I thought up the most brilliant of plans: drive her away by making her endure far too much horrible singing, day and night, making a proper night’s sleep nearly impossible, forcing her for health reasons to move away to a new place, finally fulfilling my dream of having a neighbour-turned-lover.

In the meantime, I felt that the universe owed me a big one for screwing up the neighbour-turned-lover thing. Shortly after this, the ladies of Spring Awakening we’re invited to perform “Mama Who Bore Me- Reprise” at the New York Stage and Film Winter Gala in December… Our first reunion performance! But that’s not all. The girls of Spring were also going to sing back-up vocals for the one and only, John Gallagher Jr. in “Boulevard of Broken Dreams”. What a fantastic reward! I was one step closer to becoming his wife. This, dear reader, is real life magic.

(Watch the girls' reunion performance of Mama Who Bore Me- Reprise here! Watch Boulevard of Broken Dreams here!)

If that wasn’t enough of a compensation: I shook Laura Linney’s hand and had a conversation with Jon Hamm, who plays the insatiable Don Draper on AMC’s Mad Men. Santa had told me to buy the Mad Men season DVDs for Mama D as a Christmas gift and since then, I’ve watched every single episode and the show has become one of my absolute favourites. Blake Bashoff, former Spring Awakening star and scene partner, plays Mark in Season 4 and is as cute as a button.

Moving on and concentrating on the task at hand:

Labyrinth has everything I've ever wanted in a movie: Puppets, singing and David Bowie. There is an overall very dark tone to the film and a great lesson that is learned for both adults and children: be careful what you wish for. As for Bowie and Connelly, they do an excellent job considering their scene partners consist only of puppets. There was also something about seeing Bowie dance with a baby as he was singing that catchy tune "Magic Dance" that brought me so much joy and made my life almost complete. But then again, I wouldn't expect any less from a man whose eyes are two different colours.

The Princess Bride also has everything I've ever wanted in a movie: giant rats, kissing and a princess named Buttercup, which reminds me of one of my favourite treats. The Princess Bride achieves perfection in it's humour and corniness and to prove it, one of my favourite quotes from the movie was: "That day, she was amazed to discover that when he said "As you wish", what he meant was "I love you."" Really? It has the same amount of syllables, but I really felt as if Princess B was assuming a lot here. Even if it turns out to be true, you should never assume is all I'm saying. As Mama D always cautions: "Never assume- It will make an a** out of u and me." I feel that The Princess Bride has to be one of the most quotable movies of all time, along with Mean Girls. The overall tone of the film is so humorous and the colourful characters and hilarious place names, such as the "Pit of Despair" and the "Cliffs of Insanity", are what make the movie such a success, pleasing both adults and children alike. My absolute favourite quote is when Westley, after seeing Buttercup about to stab herself in the chest with a dagger, says: "There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours." This is hilarious and inappropriate, as Westley and Buttercup have not yet been married, but I hope that those of you who saw Spring Awakening understand Wendla and Melchior's cautionary tale. 

  

If the magic in both these films isn’t enough for you, dear friend, read on. On Christmas Eve, Santa came down the chimney, as he usually does and I stayed up for him with a glass of bourbon and some duck reduced-fat confit salad, as I do each year. We’ve had some pretty enlightening conversations and he wanted me to share with you all that, whoever started the whole “leave Santa a plate of cookies” thing, was trying to sabotage him. Santa has been trying to loose weight for years. But to not disappoint all the boys and girls, he has to eat those cookies and milk left out for him. Anyway, he brought me exactly what I wanted: a copy of the album “The Gift” and a new MacBook Pro. How exciting! This is definitely magic. As I type this blog on my new baby, I’m truly lovin’ it except I’m really missing that backspace key. But like new lovers and old, they can’t always be perfect. Thanks for everything, PC. It was good while it lasted and we had some pretty good times editing Totally Trucked videos together, but I’m over you. I’m sorry to have to do this via blog via my new lover but this is my official breakup letter. Go catch a virus for someone else! Speaking of viruses, it’s during days like these, when sickness takes over, that I wish said neighbour-turned-lover would come take care of me. It would be so practical and useful, not to mention passionate.

BOTTOM LINE: Magic is everywhere in your everyday life! Have a night of unique and quirky, (Alliteration Alert) fabulous and fantastical family fun with the films Labyrinth and The Princess Bride!

FUN FACTS: Did you know that the character of Hoggle, in Labyrinth, is voiced by Jim Henson’s son, Brian Henson? And that Sarah’s baby brother, Toby, is actually played by conceptual artist Brian Froud’s real son, Toby! (Can you imagine being just a baby and having that credit on your resume? “Starred opposite David Bowie in Labyrinth”) Did you know that Andre the Giant, who play’s giant Fezzik in The Princess Bride, suffered from a hormonal disorder that makes a gland produce excess growth hormone?

RATING: 

LABYRINTH- 4 Exits out of 5

THE PRINCESS BRIDE- 4.5 Brides out of 5

As a side note and conclusion, I’d like to mention that I went on a date with a magician once. He showed me quite a few of tricks that day but wouldn’t reveal any of his secrets. Needless to say, it didn’t work out between us. Also needless to say, don’t date or marry a magician in hopes you’ll learn their secrets. You’ll never find out, no matter how hard you try to seduce. The heartache isn’t worth it. 

Steffi D and her fever say thank you for reading this blog.

If I can sleep tonight, I shall dream a dream in time gone by. Thanks, Suzie B.

Ste-fever D

P.S. If you didn’t catch my fabulous performance in the holiday themed McDonald's commercial, watch it here right now!